James J Clarke - Hard Work (track by track); The Line on collaborating with Sorcha Richardson, God Knows and Murli, and more
This week, two longs reads about two great recent albums
James J Clarke, formerly of Ambience Affair, released a lovely solo album called Hard Work on January 12. And it sounds like it really lived up to that title. He says the album “was written and recorded during lockdown after I moved home to be closer to my elderly father and deals with the loss and grief I felt after my mother's passing. It was produced, engineered and mixed by my good friend (and wonderful author) Ian Maleney and mastered by Scott Hull across the water over in NYC.”
James J Clarke launches the album at Bello Bar on Thursday, January 25, with support from Aoife DeMille (‘Morning Fires’) - tickets here. Below is a track-by-track runthrough of the album by James, with a couple of bonus questions thrown in too. Just like the lyrics on the album (some of them will melt you), I love his honesty in the answers.
What is the state of Ambience Affair? Did it just come to a natural conclusion?
Ambience Affair is no more. Yeah, it just ran its course I think. There comes a point in a band's life where you need something to happen that secures your future for a little while, and that never came. I think a lot of major life events can happen to adults in their late 20s and early 30s which can distract/deter you from being creative. Especially in my case where I equated making music with failure.
It's only now I realise that when my mother became ill, my relationship with music was nowhere near as strong as it currently is. Before, I would sit with my instrument expecting something to happen. I figured that because I'd spent so long at it, that it owed me something. I've come to learn that this is the wrong approach.
I came back to music when covid happened. I got the chance to slow down and take stock of all the decisions I'd made up until that point and I tried to figure out what was actually best for me. I found that the more work and evaluation I did on myself, the more coherency I was achieving with my musical output and luckily this is still the case.
Care
I wanted to start the album with an instrumental and I had the idea that I'd write an ode to the palliative care team that were so amazing during my mother's last few weeks. It still staggers me to this day how compassionate and understanding they are. During its conception, I was spending a lot of time in our holiday home in Cahirdaniel, County Kerry and I felt my mother there with me most days. The sound of the beach in Derrynane kind of encapsulates this feeling for me and it became a place where I found much solace from the grief and loss I've experienced.
Auburn Sky
In its conception, I wanted to try and write something that dealt with not just the loss of a parent, but to try and process the ending of a relationship that was happening at the time and in doing so I figured out that those two events require similar processing skills. They both were a kind of death, in their own way. I remember it being lockdown and I found myself reconnecting with Meath and because everything had slowed down, I was noticing the sun a lot more and its position in relation to my childhood home. The sunsets and sunrises really blew me away and that's where the chorus line and title came from.
Ian Malaney produced, engineered and mixed the album, and wrote a brilliant book (Minor Monuments), which touches on going back 'home' to rural/midlands Ireland. Was the book, or talking to Ian, something that helped ground you back home?
We actually did everything together! Ian came in when he could see the project was lacking direction and he pushed me to expand my horizons and alter my perceptions of what I thought was possible. We spent a week down in Kerry and I finished his book on the day we were due to head down. Our seven-hour car journey together really helped me understand his approach to creativity and it became clear that our relationship with our homeland was very similar. I'm very grateful he decided to step in when he did.
White Roses
This is a really special song to me. It was conceived in one sitting and it just mustered itself into existence. I'm certain that I was just the host for it and I feel it was my mother taking the wheel. It's hard to put into words how grateful I am of it, but I'm just delighted that it belongs to me and I'll be able to sing it for the rest of my life. That in itself gives me a lot of comfort. The line 'You'll miss me but you'll see me in her eyes.' was written before the birth of my niece and it's safe to say that their likeness turned out to be uncanny.
The Dark Of Night
During her final weeks people kept telling me the same thing - to try and spend as much time with her as possible. This song deals with the idea that this is easier said than done. As my mother decided she wanted to die at home, we all spent a lot of time with her and often it got too much for me. I found a place in our garden I used to go to pull myself together and this song is just about that really. Processing a death before it actually happens. It is another one where I tried to use the lyrics to help me process the end of a romantic relationship and in doing so realise that those two events were intertwined in many ways.
Wake To The Light
Probably the only positive sounding song on the record. As I was making the album, I began to comprehend how good the actual process of doing so was for me. I'd missed making music and I had turned my back on it for a long time without ever fully owning up to or even realising that decision. This song is about getting back to a place where you can be happy. I found that in dealing with the grief and loss I had accumulated over the years, that I was more emotionally secure within myself to be able to see the beauty in existence again. Also, my dad plays accordion on it, which is really lovely.
Fragments
I wanted to contrast the beauty and euphoric realisations of the previous track and follow it with something really tonally and emotionally dark to remind myself and the listener that it's not always easy to get to the place you want to be and that I find it difficult sometimes to actually enjoy being there.
Kaverian
I've been getting asked the meaning of the word a bit since the album came out so here goes; I was initially going to call it 'Weights' but predictive text gave me 'Kaveries' instead and a quick google informed me that this was not actually a word. This was a song that changed drastically with my producer Ian Maleney's input and thus I decided to change the name to 'Kaverian' I was listening to the amazing Feist album 'Metals' at the time which is probably why I spent many days recording myself hitting my garage door to get some similar percussion sounds.
In State
I remember this one taking a lot of time to get the vocal delivery right. This is why I whisper 'last time' at the start of it because I probably had sung it a hundred times in a row and felt like throwing this computer out the window! Getting the sounds in your head or the intention of the song into realisation can be tricky at times. The song itself is an introspective one and deals with having to ask yourself some hard questions after a traumatic event. I found myself wondering if there were things I could have done better and about the possibility of second chances.
A Mother's Love
My mother and I were so unbelievably close and I still miss her everyday. But this bond we still have together - this album, the depth of feeling I still have for her and the connection that still exists only is possible from her loving and tenderness towards me as her child. I was raised with so much kindness and care that I now possess this love every day and I am truly grateful for that. My heart broke when she passed mainly because of everything she gave to me and I hope this song resonates with people who have been lucky enough to experience an upbringing like this.
Was this a hard song to write and record? Did you ever feel like shelving it because it was emotionally draining or did it feel like you HAD to finish it to kind of move on?
This is exactly the case. I HAD to finish it. I remember scouting mastering engineers and saving up for the one I wanted (the incredible Scott Hull) and there were many times where I thought, 'maybe some label who picks this up will master it for me?' Ian pushed me to get it finished because once you master it, it's done. I probably would have been fiddling with the mixes today had that not happened, and thus slowly driven myself insane. It was very emotionally draining alright but I've learned that going down to these depths and coming back again only makes me realise how beautiful my existence really is and how lucky I am.
Alterate
I wanted to refocus the intent of the album at this point towards the darker side of grief and I was writing a lot of pieces like this that seemed to fit this direction. Because I recorded the majority of the album myself, I see scenes or feel certain feelings when relistening to them. This one very much reminds me of late evening summer walks with my great companion, Elmer. He's actually on 'In State' sighing his little sigh somewhere.
Did you find the album cathartic? Or was it just time proving a healer in helping you get away from "the darker side of grief" (which sounds like a very tough place to be)?
The thing I love about the record is because I recorded it myself at home, is that I feel her in the silences when I listen to it. I have this thing I made that makes me feel closer to her when I put it on, which is incredible really. Also, she is still here. I'm thinking about her now and she is part of this conversation. I think she would get a great kick out of it. Sure, it's all because of her anyway. When I was 19, she took my demo tape and marched into Hot Press magazine and demanded that it be reviewed! My number one fan.
When I started making the record, I didn't know it would take me two years to finish it. If I had known that at the start, I definitely wouldn't have made it. The whole thing was a learning curve. Figuring myself out, figuring out how to record and then how to make something that has depth and coherence. I hope we achieved this. Time is a healer alright, but so too is creating. The darker side of grief is a lonely and scary place to be but I think you do have to go there in order to see the light unfold again. I'm more content within myself now than I ever have been and I know it's because of the process of making this album. I am so grateful for it and I hope it helps other people process grief like it did for me.
Lancinate
I have this chronic condition of stiffness in my hips, arms and legs and I've not been able to get to the bottom of it for some time. There are weeks when it's bad and some weeks where it's fine but this song is about when it is really not fine and how it can be quite debilitating. It ends up affecting my outlook on life and my ability to function normally. I wanted to try and come to terms with it by writing about this issue that has now become a part of me and in doing so take ownership of it.
How do you feel about the album as a whole? Is it a feeling of relief at getting it out in the world? Are you proud of it? Have you thought about what's next?
I've come to realise that releasing the thing is a very important step in the processing of the grief. I thought by holding onto it for so long, that I could keep this piece of her with me but I now know that this hasn't changed at all. It was between me and her and now whoever is interested can listen in on the conversation. I am immensely proud of it. Trying to get something to sound good with a very limited set up (Scarlett Solo and SM58) is incredibly difficult but my persistence taught me that if you try and put a square peg into a round hole, eventually it will fit.
I have another batch of songs ready to record and hopefully Ian and myself will begin the process of making album #2 in the next few weeks.
TPOE 292: The Line
The Line aka Brian Dillon (Meltybrains) is this week’s guest on the TPOE podcast. We had a great chat running through his second album, Red Blood Cells and Righteousness, which is a solo album, in a way, but also very much a collaborative affair, featuring production on a number of tracks with Lullahush, and songs written in a day with collaborators including Loah and her sister Fehdah, Liam McCabe, Brian’s brother Eamonn, God Knows and Murli, Dan Fox (Gilla Band) and Nevvv, Caoi De Barra, Sorcha Richardson, Meltybrains’ Micheal Quinn and Ben Bix, and Talos. Here are some highlights from the conversation about working with some of those acts. Subscribe to the TPOE podcast to hear the full conversation.
Can you remember the very first spark that made you want to get in contact with these people?
Yeah, I know where the idea came from, for sure. I don't remember if there was a lightbulb moment as such, but with The Line, that project started when I was effectively living on my own. I say effectively because I was living with friends who were touring musicians, and I was in the house a lot effectively living on my own in rural Ireland. And spending a lot of time on my own. And I made a record that was the very typical bedroom producer thing. And though that was in some ways a rewarding exercise, it really made me think about how much I value people and community and how important that is for everyone - and how dangerous isolation is. The theme of this album is the importance of community and friends and family and all of that. There's an irony - or it seems kind of foolish to make a record on your own about community. So I thought it'd be great if the form reflected the the content.
On working with Liam McCabe (Feel Bad Movie Club) on ‘Earth Died Streaming’
Liam is, in my opinion, one of the best unheralded musicians in the country. He was in a band called Shouting at Planes for years. And then he was in another band called Heroes in Hiding. He's a great all-rounder, a singer-songwriter, beautiful voice and great lyricist, and a really good producer as well; he's done a lot of film scoring and stuff lately. The Feel Bad Movie Club - it's one of those things that every musician has - it's a project that you have loads of tracks written, but they never come out. And I think it was when we made that Cavan piece together, that gave him the impetus to use the name and kind of go with it a bit.
On working with Sarah Corcoran (Pillow Queens) on ‘Hero of Coincidence’
So Sarah I kind of would have met years ago at parties and through mutual friends and stuff. She's one of those people who I knew to say hello to, and I would like her photos on Instagram or whatever, but wouldn't have known her very well. I just loved the Pillow Queens record and it's like, 'Well, I need to get someone from that because it's great and I kinda know Sarah'. So I asked her to do it. That was just a great day. We just got on really well, had a lovely hang. And I really like that track. In my opinion, Pillow Queens are great, but it just showed a different side to Sarah and what she can do. She's someone I'd love to work with again, I think that's a banging track.
On working with God Knows and Murli on ‘Patience of Saints’
No aspersions about anyone else on the album there or in the world - but they are the best people. Obviously they're amazing musicians, amazing MCs but they're just such good role models of how to be a human, they're wonderful guys, so it was great to see them. And the conversation was brilliant as well, because their outlook is different to everyone else I know. It was so insightful. And it was interesting - like something that I wanted to discuss on the album a little bit as well was faith and the concept of faith. And they're very strong Christians. And I found it very interesting that their belief system and their approach to worship definitely makes them better people. It's something that I think about a lot, that with all of the scandals in the Catholic Church, we've kind of thrown the baby out with the bathwater in Ireland where it's like, 'Oh the Catholic Church are bad so all religion or faith is bad'. And then I spend time with people like them and I'm like, 'Hmmm, maybe not'. All of their church connections and community and prayer groups, and all of those things, really give them something that I think a lot of people are missing. So it was fascinating to talk to them about that.
On working with Dan Fox and Nevvv on ‘The World Told No Lies’
She's so good. I wish she would do more. That started with, I went to Dan Fox - Dan from Gilla Band's a really good mate of mine, we've worked together on a few things before. I went up to his studio in Yellow Door which is in Fairview in Dublin. He has a recording studio there that he works from. That was a load of fun. Working with vocalists, there was more - by and large, we worked towards making songs because that's what they normally do. Then, Dan is an amazing engineer and producer, but effectively, he's kind of an experimental composer; when you think about what Gilla Band do, I know they're a punk band, but also, they're really doing something that I think nobody else does. So the approach is very different. Dan was just like, 'Well, I want to use this bass, these peddles and make something cool-sounding.' And then also he was like, 'I'd love to play drums. I never get the chance to play drums.' So I got him to play drums on it as well. It's a weird track (laughs) but we had this mad electronic noise kind of piece. And I sent it to him, he was like 'Love this, but it needs vocals.' And I was like, 'Well, I've always wanted to get Nev to do something.' I've known her for years, she played in bands with different friends of mine. And she put out that track (‘Passionate/Stupid’). But that's a track she made with Dan Lullahush, and I love that. I thought she'd be perfect. And I thought she nailed it as well, she definitely brought a pop sensibility; she made it a lot more accessible than it was. Her vocal parts are great.
On working with Caoi De Barra on ‘Fruit Peel Path’
This was the one that we took the most time on. So I actually lived with Caoi after this was written, but we were good friends beforehand. She was, like many people, cooped up for a lot of the pandemic. So she said she'd come down to West Cork and I think she stayed for two weeks that time, just hanging out. We had a spare room and she just set up and wrote songs there for a couple of weeks... We had a lovely time. This is the only one that we gave more than a day to, the first two days we were writing the track. And this one Caoi really took control of it. She did a lot of the structure and the chords and really took charge. Now admittedly, the arrangement afterwards, I never told her I was gonna get a drummer to record it So there were parts where I took over afterwards. But a lot of this came from Caoimhe. This is one where I'll gladly talk about the meaning behind it. Because Caoimhe has two young nephews and now a niece as well. ... She's very doting. When we talked about community and family, these things, a lot of it came back to them for her, how important they are in her life. And the song is about her kind of desire to protect them from the world, and the role of being an adult guardian of children. Yeah, just keeping their innocence, it's a lovely song.
On Sorcha Richardson (‘Collar Bone’)
What's great to see about Sorcha is that she has gotten the reaction she deserves. Micheal and Ben from Meltybrains and my ex-girlfriend used to play with her back when she put her first EP out like, about 10 years ago. So I would have known her then. At that time, she was playing to like 20 people in Dublin, or whatever, really small shows. And it's great to see song after song, everything gets better and better. It has built momentum. Her career, she's done it the right way, I think. She's such a great musician. It's great to see her getting the recognition